So I thought I would Post the second part of my prologue. the first is in my post from yesterday :
Information overload/ Nuclear War
I am very happy with my first draft prologue, it is also the first prologue I have written. I hope you all enjoy it!
Prologue part 2
“Jim, I miss the kids.” she is crying, it seems like she is always crying.
“I know Nora, I do to. The kids are safe with your sister in the colony, we are lucky they got in.” Jim holds her as they watch the news. They always watch the news about the war, its being called by some World War III.
“Things are getting worse Jim, I'm afraid we wont see them again.”
“We may not, but it is better for them with you're sister. With her at least we know they will live and have families of there own. If they had stayed with us, If they where here now they wouldn't be safe.”
“I know, I herd what the President said. What if he is wrong, what then?” she starts to sob without control, all she wants are her babies home, her life back the way it was before the war.
“Then they come home and we can be a family again. You should be happier Nora, they are safe, if the President is right our children live.”
“And we die Jim, how is that fare. We don't get to be there for them, watch them grow, how can that be fare to them or us?”
“Its not Nora, it just is. There wasn't room for us, we are lucky they let your sister take the kids."
Nora stands and walks to the window, rubbing her locket between her fingers, opens it to look at the photo of her kids inside.
On the TV. “The President gave no comment today when asked about possible nuclear retaliation.” Jim shuts the TV off.
The ground and walls start to quiver, then shake violently. “Jim, you have to come see this. I think there’s bin an explosion.”
Jim never made it to his wife's side, Didn't see the smoke rise high into the air as a massive mushroom shaped cloud after the impact, gray smoke and fire glowing red, orange, and yellow. He didn't see buildings falling as the shock wave headed toward them, ruble go flying as fires ignited. Jim can hear screams all around him, he can hear Nora only feet from him and loudest of all are his own screams before everything gets quiet, and dark, just go's blank.
Jim and Nora are the lucky one's, it was over quick for them. More people further away survive long enough to know what happened to them. Further still they live to feel their insides die, get violently sick, maybe grow tumors, but still die. The unlucky live, They have long term affects but with no one to care for them they die as well sooner or later.
Showing posts with label World War III. Show all posts
Showing posts with label World War III. Show all posts
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Information overload/ Nuclear War
So today I have bin working on my prologue. At first I wasn't going to do one, but one of the people critiquing my work thought it would be good to fallow a couple through a nuclear explosion, or something having to do with the war that started the 1000 year stay underground. I have chosen to do two parts, which I will post at the end of this post.
Needing to describe how the explosion looks, what happens to the surrounding aria and the people in it. Now I have video overload. I know there is a lot of information out, in may forms but holy cow. Type in just a few words and your smacked in the face with a tone of videos and documents. To see the charred bodies in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the buildings completely leveled, and the pain of the survivors was hart wrenching. I watched a video with a man that survived, they had to peal card skin off his back, one of his arms the skin was hanging off, he spent 18 months in the hospital. I watched another video with a son clinging to his father, the both of them dead, their bodies looked mummified.
The thing is there are videos and article about how we are heading for world war III, only with more devastating outcomes. Are we as a race on the fast track to destruction? Could part of my fiction become reality? What do all of you think? How do you feel about the state of our country? Do you believe we are bound for WWIII, or is it a lot of scared end of the world scenario creeping into the mind of otherwise sane people?
That being said I would love feedback on my prologue, its long so I am only posting the first half. this half isn't as good as the second half, but I cant give it all away at once can I.
Helix War of 3031
prologue
“Mr. President, can I have a moment of your time?” Mrs. Pickett knows he wont listen, but she has to try one more time.
“Yes, of course. Give me five minutes.” The President is very busy these days. Planing a war, making shore as many people as passable are safe deep under the earth's surface, all while still keeping the peace would take a lot out of any man. He would have little time for his family if they where still home, he barley eats any more, five minutes is a lot to ask of him.
“Grace, this isn't the best time, the Secretary of Defense is waiting in my office.”
“I know, that’s why we are here, this office has bin empty for months. I had to come and say good bye.” Tears are starting to swell in her eyes. He takes a handkerchief from his breast pocket dabbing at the tears gently, making shore to not mess her makeup.
“I know, I'm going to miss you too. I can't go with you, no matter how many times you ask my place is here. Our country needs me, I can't just run away from my responsibilities.” Fighting back tears of his own, trying to be strong for her sake, he holds her close and kisses her tenderly.
“If you stay you could die, I don't wont to live in a world without you. If we don't win the war I'll never see you again. I'll stay here with you, I'll die, I don't care as long as I'm with you!” She realizes she has raised her voice to much, regaining her composure she takes a deep breath.
“Don't worry about me Grace, I'll be fine. We will win the war, and then we can be together again. Just give us some time.” He has to lie, if he doesn't she will stay and die with him. The united stats is out matched, but he is going down fighting.
“If that's true, why can't I stay with you?” Her makeup is running down her cheeks now, she can't hold the tears back any longer.
“Grace look at me, you know I love you, and that is why you have to go. Put my mind at ease and get into the Washington colony. With you there safe I can do my job, and when it is all over you can come back to me.”
“I will go my love, just know I leave my hart with you.” They kiss, a long and passionate kiss reluctant to let go of one another. He gives her his monogrammed handkerchief to whip the tears from her eyes.
“Hold onto it Grace, you can give it back when I see you again.” Kissing him one more time, straitening her jacket and smoothing her hair she go's to the door. She stops for just a moment with her hand on the doorknob, but she knows she has to go, if she terns around she will stay, and she needs to make it to the colony before the doors close.
He stands in the hallway watching her leave, his hart pulling at him to fallow her. He knows he will never see her again, or his wife and kids, but it is his duty to stay and fight with the others, and die like a true soldier.
Needing to describe how the explosion looks, what happens to the surrounding aria and the people in it. Now I have video overload. I know there is a lot of information out, in may forms but holy cow. Type in just a few words and your smacked in the face with a tone of videos and documents. To see the charred bodies in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the buildings completely leveled, and the pain of the survivors was hart wrenching. I watched a video with a man that survived, they had to peal card skin off his back, one of his arms the skin was hanging off, he spent 18 months in the hospital. I watched another video with a son clinging to his father, the both of them dead, their bodies looked mummified.
The thing is there are videos and article about how we are heading for world war III, only with more devastating outcomes. Are we as a race on the fast track to destruction? Could part of my fiction become reality? What do all of you think? How do you feel about the state of our country? Do you believe we are bound for WWIII, or is it a lot of scared end of the world scenario creeping into the mind of otherwise sane people?
That being said I would love feedback on my prologue, its long so I am only posting the first half. this half isn't as good as the second half, but I cant give it all away at once can I.
Helix War of 3031
prologue
“Mr. President, can I have a moment of your time?” Mrs. Pickett knows he wont listen, but she has to try one more time.
“Yes, of course. Give me five minutes.” The President is very busy these days. Planing a war, making shore as many people as passable are safe deep under the earth's surface, all while still keeping the peace would take a lot out of any man. He would have little time for his family if they where still home, he barley eats any more, five minutes is a lot to ask of him.
“Grace, this isn't the best time, the Secretary of Defense is waiting in my office.”
“I know, that’s why we are here, this office has bin empty for months. I had to come and say good bye.” Tears are starting to swell in her eyes. He takes a handkerchief from his breast pocket dabbing at the tears gently, making shore to not mess her makeup.
“I know, I'm going to miss you too. I can't go with you, no matter how many times you ask my place is here. Our country needs me, I can't just run away from my responsibilities.” Fighting back tears of his own, trying to be strong for her sake, he holds her close and kisses her tenderly.
“If you stay you could die, I don't wont to live in a world without you. If we don't win the war I'll never see you again. I'll stay here with you, I'll die, I don't care as long as I'm with you!” She realizes she has raised her voice to much, regaining her composure she takes a deep breath.
“Don't worry about me Grace, I'll be fine. We will win the war, and then we can be together again. Just give us some time.” He has to lie, if he doesn't she will stay and die with him. The united stats is out matched, but he is going down fighting.
“If that's true, why can't I stay with you?” Her makeup is running down her cheeks now, she can't hold the tears back any longer.
“Grace look at me, you know I love you, and that is why you have to go. Put my mind at ease and get into the Washington colony. With you there safe I can do my job, and when it is all over you can come back to me.”
“I will go my love, just know I leave my hart with you.” They kiss, a long and passionate kiss reluctant to let go of one another. He gives her his monogrammed handkerchief to whip the tears from her eyes.
“Hold onto it Grace, you can give it back when I see you again.” Kissing him one more time, straitening her jacket and smoothing her hair she go's to the door. She stops for just a moment with her hand on the doorknob, but she knows she has to go, if she terns around she will stay, and she needs to make it to the colony before the doors close.
He stands in the hallway watching her leave, his hart pulling at him to fallow her. He knows he will never see her again, or his wife and kids, but it is his duty to stay and fight with the others, and die like a true soldier.
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